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Dear The Magic Rain team,
I just found out about your website, and I wanted to thank you for what you do.
I had a… strange experience with a photographer. He told me that he had a horrible disease, and then some months later he told me that he was about to die, and that he really wanted to arrange a hot photoshoot with me. He told me I was special, that he was obsessing with me, and even told me that since I have never taken those kinds of pictures with him, that photoshoot would have been special, my “first and last time”… that sounded so sexual that I was starting to get really scared. He asked me for pictures of my body and measurements to buy lingerie, and the more I said I was not sure about it, the more he asked and even started to talk about taking naked pictures. I felt like a bad person, but I was uncomfortable, so I refused.
A year has passed by. He is still alive, of course, and he has done the same to other people. I feel so ashamed for almost falling for it. Never trust people who obsess with you, even if you have worked with them before that.
First of all, I would like to say you did a good job turning him down. It is too easy for cosplayers to fall prey to the sweet words of others, especially when many of us do not have anyone else to turn to for advice against them. As you said, never trust anyone whose intentions are unclear/unknown, and always be on your guard. Many of these so-called “photographers” are taking advantage of the kindness of cosplayers to push through with their requests, but we have to be firm and know when to strongly say no.
Thank you for writing to us about this situation, and I do urge our fellow readers to beware of people using scenarios like this. Don’t fall for the guilt trap and always get a trusted friend to be with you during private photoshoots. It is definitely better to stay safe than to feel bad for someone you don’t really know.
Dear The Magic Rain team,
So I’ve been dating this guy for nearly a year and… our relationship is falling apart. I don’t know what to do, should I call it off? Should I continue? My friends tell me to leave him but I’m not willing to. Although he’s had feelings for someone during our relationship, exchanged suggestive pictures and had sexual role play with others, and most recently broke up and now is asking for me to come back… I want to believe he means it, and that he is genuine about his feelings. But I constantly feel upset and guilty; I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if it’s him.
I don’t really have a lot of information about your relationship to make deductions, but if this person has been cheating on you and did so many questionable things with other people, it is most likely his problem, and I would suggest that you stay away from this toxic relationship as soon as possible. It is never okay to make your partner feel bad for your own wrongdoings.
You need to ask yourself this: what is making you unwilling to give up on him? Are they the memories you’ve shared with him over the year you were together, or the person you thought he was? I would think that the best thing to do right now is to clear your head and stay away from any persuasions at the moment. After you have given yourself some space, perhaps it would then be easier to make a definitive decision. I wish you the best of luck!
Have you ever felt that the world weighs down heavily on you, more than it should? If you need support or advice on your personal relationships, working life, or anything at all, don’t hesitate to write in to us at https://goo.gl/forms/RsybO34Khkic902
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