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Dear Ms. Spring,
I always feel that I am a lousy cosplayer because I am fat and ugly. Because of that I am unable to look good or even buy nice costumes from TaoBao because they don’t come in my size. I fear that I will never be a popular cosplayer that’s loved by others. To make matters worse, I have an ex friend who used to put me down by calling me fat, ugly, worthless, and undesirable. I have cut him off but his words had affected me severely and I wanted to quit cosplay. I feel no matter how much I tried, I will never be considered a good cosplayer.
Sincerely,
Insecure girl.
Dear insecure girl,
It is totally understandable that you feel self-conscious and never good enough to cosplay. It has become the norm to criticise the aspects of our body oven though it can lead to a vicious cycle of judgement and criticism. Messages from the media have conveyed that we should care about looking slimmer and smaller.
However, I truly believe that there are plus size cosplayers out there like you in the cosplay community actively fighting against fat stigma.
As for that ex friend of yours, it’s good that he is no longer your life. My general action to those people is to simply hold your head high and ignore. Embody your ideal personification of a character that is just as human as you are. Cosplay would be much more meaningful and uplifting as your own coping mechanism to handle your personal insecurities.
Learn to identify those in your life who are body-neutral. While you struggle with your own internalised body shaming, think of those who celebrate and love their body for what it can do and those who refuse to comment on other’s physical appearances.
If you ever encounter anyone who perpetually body shame, confront them. In fact, talk to them. When you start being aware of how often your friends or family’s body-shaming, talk to them about how or what it bothers them and help them see how it can be hurtful to them too.
Lastly, find something you like about your own body. We spend so much time being envious about how that XXX influencer has white and luscious skin or how the neighbour next door has a nice petite body. Instead, it would be nice to think of that by celebrating what you have. Perhaps despite you dislike your body image, you love how a certain hairstyle looks good on you or even you noticed you feel good just by eating a balanced diet. Always find something, whether it’s your physical or non physical appearance that makes you yourself celebrate every day.
XOXO,
Ms. Spring
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