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Dear The Magic Rain,
I have some friends who are quite sensitive sometimes and I can’t really cope with them. To describe it simply… they are not really “event goers”. They never enter the venue, but just stay outside and have fun with their other friends which I don’t mix with.
Of course I wondered what’s the use of going to an event if all you do is go and mix with others without fully enjoying the benefits given from attending the event.
But it’s not my issue either, so I didn’t say anything about it. I just felt left out one time when my few other friends who normally join me to go doujin booth shopping can’t attend. I ended up enjoying things alone.
Lately it hasn’t been a trouble but it seems that they (the “event goer” friends) are annoyed by it??? E.g. when I ask how should I go to the venue, one of them would say, “Why not ask xxx to fetch you, she can drive, can’t she?”
I’m not sure if it’s personality related but one of them also likes to throw tantrums as if I ffk’ed* them? Does it even count as ffk??? She didn’t even call me and I assumed they were happy off with their gang and so am I. ?
What should I do? Leave it this way or try to talk to them about it? I thought of option 2 a lot of times, but I’m just afraid they’ll hate me for it.
Sincerely,
Torn Between.
*FFK in dialect means to cancel plans with a person and leave them hanging.
Dear Torn Between,
Sounds to me that you have a miscommunication between you and your friends. In my opinion, I think the “benefits” to every event varies from one person to another. To you, enjoying events would mean visiting the doujin booths and making friends. To them, it may just be meeting up with friends. As long as you are all happy, doing whatever you choose to do at an event should not matter.
I think your friends are not annoyed with you visiting doujin booths, but rather, they’re probably upset that you are not hanging out with them. Hence, the jealousy shown when they mention “Why not ask xxx to fetch you, she can drive, can’t she?” I think what you need to do is to explain to them how much they mean to you (if they do mean a lot to you) and that whatever you’re doing (visiting booths) has got nothing to do with you wanting to spend more time with friend XXX instead of them.
You can always try to talk to them about it. After all, the key to a good relationship is communication. If it’s a matter of personality (the tantrum thing), you’ll be able to find out if it is after you make the effort to talk to them. Your friends may be upset for awhile after hearing your side of your story… But a true friend would eventually come to understand and speak to you about it.
To sum it up, never assume. Just try your best to communicate with your friends and hopefully that will clear the misunderstanding. All the best! You got this.
Sincerely,
Ms. Scrumptious
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